What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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