Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
