it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you would pick up someone in the library
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
