He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
