I hope mine doesn't look like that
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
