I've blown a few things in my day
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
