he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
PANTIES FOUND
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
