So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
