Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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