we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
