Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
