He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
