everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
