she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
