Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
