hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
