I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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