Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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