It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
