out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
