Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
