He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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