Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
