I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
