Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
