How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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