Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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