Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
