Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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