Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
