What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
