we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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