my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
my poor anus
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
God I need to hump something, right now.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
