Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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