It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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