The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
