Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
