Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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