Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
