You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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