the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
