He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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