I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
