I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
