In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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