shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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