Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
