A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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