I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
