I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
