Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
