Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
